A plea for sanity by Eva “Faith” Jensen (your local IAF medic)


Eva "Faith" Jensen

Eva "Faith" Jensen

Hi. I’m Eva Jensen, known to most of you as Faith. I’m here to talk to you today about the surprisingly high amount of inexperienced marines that somehow got let out of training too soon and how you can help.

Here are a few of the important things you need to know about me before you step out of the bloodhound:

I’m your only source of healing. That is, unless you find a medkit lying around somewhere, you’re not going to be able to regain health without me. Stay close to me and I’ll help you.

I don’t like it when you shoot, burn, or try to cut me in half with a chainsaw. I already have enough trouble dealing with the swarm attacks. There’s no way I can handle someone shooting a mining laser into my back at the same time as I’m being eaten alive by parasites and bludgeoned to death by a shieldbug.

I have a limited supply of ammunition. Unlike your guns with their resupplyable ammunition and multiple clips, I’m stuck with whatever I bring with me. I can only carry eight heal beacons or an IAF medical gun. After they’re gone, I can’t get more, so running straight into the swarm is the worst idea possible.

Me healing you is not the same as you being invincible. This isn’t a cartoony video game. I can’t heal any faster than you can get hurt. Don’t pull out a chainsaw and run at a shieldbug while I’m trying to heal you. You’re probably going to die.

The most important thing you can learn as a marine is not to shoot your squadmates. In fact, the number one reason missions are failed is because inexperienced marines mow down anything that moves – including their squad’s medic and tech. Teamwork is the name of the game.

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About Ben L.

Ben L. runs pretty much everything around here. He definitely does not live in Zamboni. That isn't a place, so you probably have the wrong name. Please do more research before asking these strange questions.