I am General Kragen of the Haymeen Empire, also known as Ben L. in real life. The reason I go by both names is so my imaginary video game friends will know who I am.
Now, before you say something stupid like “Nobody calls you General Kragen, you idiot!”, I’d like to point out that I just did. And I wrote this post, so I must be somebody.
Now, depending on whether you actually believe that I’m General Kragen (which I am) or not, I either have a pet waffit or wish I had a pet cat. I also either go on adventures in my spaceship on a daily basis or socialize cats at the Wisconsin Humane Society every Sunday. Your choice.